You have more freedom than you are using
on the work of joy and an invite to hang with Rachel Larsen Weaver
I made a little comment on my IG stories a few weeks ago about my husband and I pretending we’re on holiday at least once a week. I’ve been trying to write about it since because something that has become our everyday struck a chord with some people. “But, how?” I was asked. “I’m jealous!” I was told. And honestly? I was a little bit confused. It was a good reminder that the things you practice often are not always the norm.
Look. I know that I use my time in this life well. It’s a choice! A priority. We’ve actively built a life that facilitates as much joy as we can muster.
But the make up of my life isn’t special. Like, I am embarrassingly average.
(I actually hold a silly little belief that the reason I came to earth was to have the most average life possible and love the fucking shit out of it. I’m doing it guys, I’m doing it!)
So how do I feel the pain but see the joy anyway?
I was struggling to put all this into words when I saw this meme.
You have more freedom than you are using.
You have more time to spend joyfully than you allow for.
You can choose to be intentional in your days and make space for love and fun and silly little treats.
And I’m sorry to ruin it for you - but it takes effort.
Behind joy there is work a lot of the time.
When you’re in the trenches of parenting or work or general life, actively pursuing joy doesn’t always feel like the easy option.
It would be so much easier to take comfort on the shore and not throw your body into the cold water. To listen to that small voice that tells you to just send one more email rather than play in the 13 year olds basketball game and pretend you’re on the kiss cam. To sit in the relative comfort of martyrdom rather than risk the guilt of taking an hour to lie down and stare at the sky. To doomscroll a little bit longer rather than getting out the glue and making some weird ass art. To let the next episode run in to the next episode and miss out on the early night that leads to the easier early morning where you find the energy to journal.
For me, saying I’m on holiday is just another way of actively participating- it’s time to enjoy my life. I’m not trying to escape in these moments or pretend I have a frictionless existence. I’m going deeper into life despite of and alongside the vast and common pains. Maybe it’s moving as close to my actual self as possible? On a good day that’s what it feels like.
I’m intentional about choosing to enjoy the things I value.
And this practice of joy-seeking is my preferred place to create from. It’s the perspective that most informs how I see the world and in turn, how and what I make.
And the thing about being a joy seeker? You can spot another a mile off. Or like, 3000 miles off. During the turbulent year that was 2020, three wondrous women traveled through a portal in my house aka zoom and discussed all things being alive. This portal was Now Now, and one of those women was Rachel.
I imagine Rachel’s one of those people who lights up rooms because it happens even through the screen. The way she talks about her life and shares it through images is electric. Her writing makes you feel seen. She has a way of making you want to befriend her ASAP. I’d like to think we’re cut from the same cloth, Rachel and I. If only because we know how to create a damn good time whenever we can and are totally cool being as earnest as shit about it.
So it seems fitting that Rachel Larsen Weaver and I will be talking about practices that cultivate joy, and how we use them to inform our art ahead of her UK trip this summer. We’d love for you to join us tomorrow night as we cackle our way through some joyful home truths around creating and life.